Saturday, August 26, 2006
=)
this time round,
reality really tore us apart.
i cried that night, so bitterly
my eyes was swollen the next day(fri).
someone asked me "how long have you been sad over this thing?"
HOW LONG?
i don't when it started i lost count or i dint even have the strength to count anymore.
i just know, this time it is really over.
sorry that my tone was harsh.
i felt so hurt, after what i have fight for for so long is all gone.
you gave me up time and time,
i tried all my best to get you back because
a fren of mine told me, decide what you want and fight for it
it is either to give up once and for all
or continue to accept you for who you are.
i choose the latter because ilu.
i din't know, it was so easy for you to gave me up.
all you have to do is to "do something about it"
and giving me up was doing something about it.
i was very very hurt.
yes. exam is over, last paper is over..
i ought to be very happy.
i had mahjong with my darlings last night and they made me SO HAPPY.
but i couldn't slp last tym after i put down the phone.
i watch tv till i got so bored of it and my bro nd to use my com.
so i jus slp in the room looking at the light shining from the study room.
i thought about the past.
everything that happen in srjc.
"i miss the old times we had together"
"those times are over"as what you said on msn.
yes, they are over. maybe that is the reason why i din't and cldnt cry last night
i wanted to cry so badly, i thought it will lessen the pain i'm feeling.
does anyone know? how does it feels like when you want to cry so badly
yet.. nothing came out.
原来， 人在最伤心时会一滴眼泪都流不出。。
something from "xi guan da shao"
now i know how it feels like,
maybe we're just too numb to feel the pain.
i had been crying and crying.
this time it really is goodbye.
and there is really no turning back..
i shouldn't be sad anymore,
i'm too tired to be sad.
why should i be sad?
when i gave my all, whatever effort to continue our r/s
i have tried.
for this i have no regrets and have to move on to the next chpt of my life.
GOODBYE!!!!!! takecare of yourself!! =D
----------------------------------
some thank you! to say
chun hui >> dear girl! i really thank god i have you. =) i don't know why, i dint know this girl for long but i could tel her every single thing that is going around me. when i'm discourage i wil jus go talk to her and somehow she will motivate me. asking me not to give up asking me to GO GO GO. telling me people who have menses do well in exam (LOL). each and everything you have said and done for me chun hui i would remember them clearly! THANKS. =) may our frenship last ever and ever.
carol, our DAI DAI >> this girl arh. super gong. but a msn nick of mine would make her give me a KISS! asking me not to give up, happiness lies within ourself we must not lose it. saying i'm a superwomen, a strong ger. =D yes, i wont give up the carol! see i've studied for infa. we're the "CANNOT BALANCE PEOPLE".. XD
qirui>> I LOVE YOU! seriously, when i was with him i cannot deny that i spend so much time wit him that i kind of ignore this darling over here. but when i lost him, she dint mind i wen to find her asking her to study with me, to pei me. if it was me i would have hate myself very much for being such a useless fren! zhong se qing you ma. now, we cldn't study without each other! lol.. really thank you.. esp yr crappness really cracks me up!! love!!
weiyang>> this guy, my BEST BEST guy fren i must say! always there for me. sorry i dint look u up when i was in trouble u know why right? but this guy always give me a reality check pouring me with tons of reality pulling me back. i know he meant well! and im sure when i need him he would be there for sure. and ever since O lvl, there isnt 1 paper tt he dint wish me gud luck, jia you and motivating me. =D THANK YOU!! <3*
LAO LUM>> the person who always make me smile with his never ending cold joke, saying hes gay, the SUPER funny photo of his, giving me the best advice in the whole world, encouraging me, finding rainbows for me, wishing me all the best in exam, rakion with me (u stil hvn grip me), buying lucky to treat me. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! XD
----------------------------
replies
ling>> HAHAHAA. thank you so much!!! i will if i need some enlightenment from de goddess. tell u in msn wen i see u! XD
saint>> ello, u're?!?!?! saint?
beaut>> one more only also complain! lol.. eh.. thur gangsta meetin up to go bk to scl so i suppose we cant go out after tt and we nd to go to de concert!!! rmb?? meetin wy at 6pm. tell you details ltr.
huijun>> ELLO!!! okok, i will be fine!!! XD
carol>> cannot balance. lol
-------------------
WA.. this is a super long entry. shall up date ltr.
CHEERIOS
hearts, STEPH
12:32 PM
=)
i was feelin DOWN. down down. i was actually disappointed, till then i realise it was nothing that i wanted. nothing..
it all started when a guy teach a girl the meaning of being happy
-> do the things u like, u wish to do. not being realistic.
the girl, was a super realistic ger. no dreams, happy is getting what i want not doing what i want.
slowly,
the girl change and started to like happy endings in movies,
cried and feel weak (like a ger).
the guy, became realistic.
studies is vital and he forgot what he teach the girl.
he forgot how to be happy? he forgot how to slow down and go to the beach..
the girl tried to sound happy everyday hoping to cheer him up.
knowing that it doesnt work, she became demoralise.
feeling useless..
now now, the ger need a reality check!
its not a fairytale anymore, it is reality.
memories hold us together
but reality sadly, is tearing us apart.
the girl promise, not to shed a single tear anymore.
enough is enough.
=)
ps: thanks qi rui! u made my day! XD being wit u allow me to concentrate and being so FUNNY makes me feel so much beta. =DD i love you! and thanks 4 telling me i had done enff for my cip. i can do it!!!
hearts, STEPH
10:21 PM
going down down down
i spend the whole of yesterday night and today morning feeling
EMOi hate it wen i feel lidat.
cried to sleep last night, cried in the morning, cried b4 my 1st nap.
i dont know, the more i study cip the more i regret taking this course. seriously, it doesnt suit me. ME, I LOVE SCI but i dint dare to take up challenge, dint dare to compete with people better than me. i'm afraid of compeition and now? im regretting.
who to blame? i choose tis path i choose poly instead of jc.
ok, after talkin to desmond i think that poly is better. but. A SCI COURSE MAYBE?!??!
=( i need some imediate cheering up.
but still, im feeling MUCH better now.
i can squeeze some stuff into my brain.
and.. i will make the best out of a mistake. no point bothering right?
i wish you were here with me. (idonteventhinkuwilreadthisanyway)
but no. WHATS THE MOST IMPT THING? studies was e ans u wn. so i gave u..
nomore, studies is not the mst impt thing. de mst impt is being happy.
i'll search 4 it and hopefully happiness might like me some day.
at least i know wds a eportfolio
a e-portfolio is a place a collection of evidence of our work. (ipeeked)
POSTIVIST = the assessment part of the portfolio
CONSTUCTIVIST = the learning or processing portfolio
SHOWCASE = hao lian, to show the best work and is often bias.
woots.
E-portfolio development process
1) COLLECT = collect evidence of what you know, what you can do and what you vaule. e.g CCA, Academic. (shouldnt be what u achieve mehs? stupid)
2) SELECT = define the purpose of the portfolio, the targeted audience
CRAP. i dont wn type anymore.
BYE BYE!
hearts, STEPH
2:09 PM
Thursday, August 17, 2006
=)
i ought to be studyin econs,
but im super restless larh.
i seriously, dunno what you want.
idoloveyou.
hearts, STEPH
2:25 PM
THE CLICK
oh man!!
i love this movie!
it's very very weird 4 steph to love happy ending,
im super sadist ok? i love sad ending =D
i learned that i really need to cherish people around.
ok, BYE BYE EMO STEPH!!!
i've decided, i want to love you with all my heart!
XDD
hearts, STEPH
11:03 PM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
repliess.
i think i will reply tag here
ling >> THANKS FOR COMIN. hahaha.. u love green right? so u love me!! YAY!
beaut>> okok!!! show u picture. XD
chunhui>> ELLO!!! hahahaha.. who bully u?
huijun>> OPPSS!! sorry!! =p
weiyang>> U DARE U SLAP I STAND DER DONT MOVE. lol!!!! =p
now i had a huge problem.
he wants me back.
HOW? tsk tsk.
just wen im so determind to really gt over it. =(
hearts, STEPH
11:19 PM
repliess.
i think i will reply tag here
ling >> THANKS FOR COMIN. hahaha.. u love green right? so u love me!! YAY!
beaut>> okok!!! show u picture. XD
chunhui>> ELLO!!! hahahaha.. who bully u?
huijun>> OPPSS!! sorry!! =p
weiyang>> U DARE U SLAP I STAND DER DONT MOVE. lol!!!! =p
now i had a huge problem.
he wants me back.
HOW? tsk tsk.
just wen im so determind to really gt over it.
hearts, STEPH
11:19 PM
omg
oh man,
today is the EVE of national day~
eee.. wanted to go back to peicai but rui say ms lee say pointless cus de tcher all busy
true true~~
im so bored at home!!
CHANQIRUI HAS SCL THUS I CNNT GO HER HUSE TO SEE LUFFY N STUDY.
now i cant study alone. haiyoo.. no motivation
SLAP ME!!
tsk tsk.. notti steph.
somehow, i wish for you. =)
hearts, STEPH
3:00 PM
boooo~~~
seriously,
i dunno what i want now.
but does what i want now even important?
i feel the insiginificant of me to you as days goes by.
i hate to wait for phone calls.
i hate "i'll call you back later"
you never did and i hate to wait.
whatever it is, this time.. it is really goodbye.
focus now steph. dont bother.
hearts, STEPH
4:16 PM
dumb dumb steph
ok..
new blog's up!
because dumb dumb steph 4gt her username. --"
was IDARE mini gathering yesterday.
was quite fun i cnnt deny~
e amazing race part. blue5 was 2nd! XD had fun with them!! (6 of us thou added 1 halfway thru)
omg, i cldnt belief de world is lke super small.
my gl is frm peicai! lol
i dint even know he was in peicai.
ohwell.
rantings cumming soooonnn. =D
hearts, STEPH
11:29 AM
